Smile!

I used to care.

A lot.

It would dig in my mind and tune everything out

All I could hear was the boring and droning and drilling

And my heart beating so hard against the calcium bars of its jail

And my breath wheezing, gasping

Then I just didn’t notice anymore

It was routine, commonplace

I didn’t notice anything anymore

Salty puddles or muffled screams

I guess I stopped caring

Nothing matters more than fun

Only smiles and laughter can take away the pain

I don’t mind forgoing immunization for temporary relief

The strings finally snapped

And now, nothing holds a place anymore.

I've realised that I've changed. I really don't value anything too much anymore. I don't write, I don't read. I don't even listen to music that really moves me. It's just a blurry haze of rushed deadlines and wasted time. I must have felt this way for a pretty long time because the above is from like 2 months ago. I'm too lazy to do anything really. My notebooks are just filled with teenage angst and nothing special. Nothing meaningful. It's almost as if I've become my own person.