Pari Pari Densetsu

Perfectly coiffed hair

Flowing skirt

It's quite a bit more painful sleeping alone once accustomed to being hugged to sleep. 

FTH #6

Hey

I heard what happened 

How are you doing? I guess I shouldn't be talking to you at a time like this but I just wanted you to know that if you ever want to rage or whatever I'm here. Although I'm not the best person for that and you already have someone for that but yeah. 

You aren't ugly at all. I would totally go for you. You are probably one of the more inspirational friends I have. I remember even before I got to know you someone told me your story. He would also tell me about how perf your relationship was whenever I was struggling with people. And yet, yours fell first. He also told me that every relationship had problems despite how good they looked. I used you as a counter example. We all thought you guys were the together forever precious memories 白头偕老。

I love you. Please don't lose hope. Although I doubt you're that kind of person. I will be here with open arms and  an open heart. 

Stoker

I want to say sorry. 

Regret always comes after, and now I'm feeling it. 

I was so wrapped up in this idealised imagined fairytale that I didn't realise everything was one- sided. 

I don't deserve to have because I doubt I can ever give. You will meet your 100% perfect girl for you, and I hope you keep her. It is hard to fight when my flaws are innumerable. 

I hope one day I will meet my 100% perfect boy for me. I think I will let him go. I've never been anything but a bane. 

I feel like a parasite, leeching my happiness from the bones of others. 

See you at the end of the world. I will always care. 

This is how we part

I don't feel the ache anymore. I don't feel empty.
I enjoy being with you. There is no better. There is worse.
I love being with you. I love your warmth. No one holds me tighter.
You don't ever make me feel inadequate.

I am sorry I am sorry i am sorry i am sorry i really am

sorry doesn't mean shit but i don't know how to make it mean something
I don't know how to make it more than two syllables that feel fitting for the occasion
I don't know how to make Java games or how to make things okay
I can hide under blankets and whisper
i'm sorry

i always wished to be missed
it makes the brutally loud keyboards pitter patter
it gives red numbers blunter edges

i save my birthday wishes
wishing only upon half a wishbone
splitting them amongst pennies

i wish i could see you
crystal clear

This is it

I guess.

I was dying last night.

Misty waters and rapid waves.
You sat on the boat across from me and I told you, "The best memories of my life were of you."
Memories are rickety bridges, creaky steps. Fill in the blanks, words robbed from banks. It is a belief that I believed, a kaleidoscope of softened blows and filtered colours.

I asked you, the question that crosses my mind whenever I feel a yearn
And you replied, "No."

I was flying one night.
And now I am here, crouching at your feet
Denying what my dreams know to be true

This is how we met

We met underneath the sun

Half- filtered light rays shading precious diagonals and sunspots dancing. My skin gossamer for seconds before returning to original, dull, skin.

You gave me your hand, and I took it. I didn't notice the emerald crystals on your fingertips. I didn't notice your thumb sparkling jade.

You planted seeds around my heart. Plowing your soil with crescent lips.
And then

You left me under the sapphire blanket of the world
I was the very first Jose Arcadio; chained to a tree, beaten blue by rain and razed aflame by sunshine
Your seeds bloomed into auburn ruby crystals, encircling the perimeter of my heart. Gripping flesh and setting it ablaze. Burning passion, they call it.

You are the villain side of the VFD, the arsonist that robbed the Baudelaires of their future.
Embers burning into my stomach, ashes floating when I speak.
A fire not watched rages. Feelings immolated into tear puddles.

But a boiling pot eventually dries.

We met in geyser vapour. Concealing your true nature, in the middle of Yellowstone's nature.
And now all that is left of you is an ugly black mark branded into my memories.

Lust

I am sad.

Maybe if beginnings disappeared and distances closed

We are circling

Words clinging onto edges of our lips

A pivot, a hand

Fuck it

I shouldn't be feeling like this.

I have absolutely no right to

I have a boyfriend 

I chided my friend once, when she told me that she would gladly break up if someone else asks her out

I wouldn't gladly break up but

I'm never one to stop for hesitation

You make me feel so comfortable

I confide in you

I tried to learn jokes, be cool.

I want you to think I'm cool too.

Perhaps, 

hej

The Germanic Confederation had little real power

I don't know why I like you

Maybe it's the unattainable-ness.

Or  I like feeling like I'm better than someone, that I would be picked first. It's nice having someone play second fiddler to me. 

I'm so incredibly selfish. I know.

But it feels good. It's fun. 

I guess, that day we talked, it was the first time I had spoken to someone like that. Alone, exploring new places, talking to a guy and it wasn't awkward at all. For some reason, conversation flowed. You are so interesting, so cool. You are so fucking cool. 

It's nice when we are alone. 

I shouldn't be thinking this but

I wonder if we have a day alone again, I don't know how it would turn out. My strongest memory is that one day, and we just drift further each day. 

I'm not smart, not at all.

I can't do crosswords or understand how Linux works. I don't solve problems I just dwell on it for a minute, give up, and ask someone. I am dependent. I do not question the inner workings of warmth, laughter, fun. I hold enigmas in my hands, I cup them and set them free.

You're comforting. Maybe it's the way you tower, or your shoulders. 

Or maybe it's the superficiality of our conversations. 

You don't care, neither do I.

Dusky eyes with twilight bursts. 

I want to drive above the speed limit and feel the wind closing in. I want to laugh and not care. I want to live in excess and lavish filth of money, branded clothes, pearls.

I want to eat over-priced platters of food portioned for a baby. 

I want to want and get. 

I want someone to spoil me and tell me I look pretty in a dress, then buy ten dresses of that pattern.

I want to go to an aquarium and laugh and laugh and laugh.

With love and squalor. 

You're the only one I can talk to.

I need you.