The Germanic Confederation had little real power

I don't know why I like you

Maybe it's the unattainable-ness.

Or  I like feeling like I'm better than someone, that I would be picked first. It's nice having someone play second fiddler to me. 

I'm so incredibly selfish. I know.

But it feels good. It's fun. 

I guess, that day we talked, it was the first time I had spoken to someone like that. Alone, exploring new places, talking to a guy and it wasn't awkward at all. For some reason, conversation flowed. You are so interesting, so cool. You are so fucking cool. 

It's nice when we are alone. 

I shouldn't be thinking this but

I wonder if we have a day alone again, I don't know how it would turn out. My strongest memory is that one day, and we just drift further each day. 

I'm not smart, not at all.

I can't do crosswords or understand how Linux works. I don't solve problems I just dwell on it for a minute, give up, and ask someone. I am dependent. I do not question the inner workings of warmth, laughter, fun. I hold enigmas in my hands, I cup them and set them free.

You're comforting. Maybe it's the way you tower, or your shoulders. 

Or maybe it's the superficiality of our conversations. 

You don't care, neither do I.

Dusky eyes with twilight bursts. 

I want to drive above the speed limit and feel the wind closing in. I want to laugh and not care. I want to live in excess and lavish filth of money, branded clothes, pearls.

I want to eat over-priced platters of food portioned for a baby. 

I want to want and get. 

I want someone to spoil me and tell me I look pretty in a dress, then buy ten dresses of that pattern.

I want to go to an aquarium and laugh and laugh and laugh.

With love and squalor. 

You're the only one I can talk to.

I need you.