Tell me it's okay

Dry hands and tired eyes.
Lotion with scents that are too strong and jealousy.
Mints in mouths that burn holes with ice.

Friends you love that once held you dear in their heart.
But water erodes soil and time washes roots away.
So now you're scattered, floating around in their memory.
"That girl.. she was a friend back then. What's her name again?"

Your name.
Called loudly, mispronounced.
Your name.
Taken from you and replaced with someone else's.
Replaced with slang and insults.
Sometimes just greetings.
Surprise.
"You know my name? How?"

Late nights.
Up doing bullshit that won't matter in 2 days.
You'll regret. You'll slap yourself.
But come midnight and you'll be stuck doing the same damn thing.

Molded strawberries.
7 dollars trashed.
Mutated. Chemicals. Eat.
Eat tomatoes. Eat blueberries. Eat rice. Eat lunch. Eat dinner.
Skip breakfast. Throw yogurt away. Sell fruit snacks.

Young seedlings poking their fragile emerald heads from the murky, dirty brown.
You squat twice a day. Watering. Caring. Pouring saved up, undeserved love into plastic pots.
"It's for the science fair."
It's not.

Deadlines come. Deadlines missed.
Grades fluctuate. Fall. Hit rock bottom.
Disappointment past hurting. Past caring.
Past feeling.
All there is now is fun.
Fun games. Fun conversations. Fun clothes.

Validate me. Validate my actions.
Say it's fine. Say it's just a phase.
Hug me. Console me.
Tell me it's okay.