I made a best friend last year. I thought we connected. I began to look past the glaring flaws in our friendship and sank myself whole-heartedly into the concept of a best friend.
Before I let her in, I kept myself guarded with my secrets. I disregarded how she left me for another girl because I didn't notice
Then one day we went ice skating together and she let me clutch onto her and fall on her and she wasn't even pissed
I thought we would be friends forever, in the way adults mean "a very long time."
But she doesn't want me anymore
Her teddy bear sits collecting dust in my room. Its snout is perpetually smiling. Perhaps it's so happy because it doesn't know what abandonment means.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH98ehnfDaA
Recently I've been really into rap. Before I couldn't really understand the lyrics, but now that I'm actually making an effort to read them and comprehend them, the songs make so much sense.
Yeezus is a very good album. He's so obnoxious and presumptuous and I love it. I love it all.
My friend frequently tells me how fiction is like written television. Perhaps she is right, but non- fiction has zero appeal to me. What's the point of reading real life when I'm living it right now?
I'd rather be a girl who is ineffably beautiful, slender, and tall with legs that go on for days. Or a girl with perfect ears and an adorable name.
But since I lack the time and attention span to read these days I've been substituting songs for books. Kanye's Hold My Liquor means just as much as Jamie's alcoholism.
Orgasm blush.
I do like being fancy.
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