Going for gold

Recently after quite an emotional setback I've decided to just study study study and exercise a lot

I wish that everything could go the way I want it to and everything's fun but so far it seems I'm not Haruhi Suzumiya

Okay finishing up on China, Nanning was so, so terrible.

Here's a little background on my paternal relatives.
My oldest aunt who married in is a total money grubbing bitch and I swear she's slowly poisoning my grandparents.
My oldest uncle wastes around the house with no job and my oldest cousin is 22 years old and a wastrel.
My aunts and uncles don't love my father or grandfather like they should.

So anyway my whole family of four was squeezed into this small ass room that's like what, 5 sq ft and there were so many mosquitoes.

It was pretty hilarious because there was this Chinese Wipeout and all the competitors were girls in bikinis and whenever the girls fell into the water this guy would come and "save them", essentially copping a feel.

There were other really funny incidents that i wrote down but I left the notebook somewhere so now it's gone.
Also that was my dream journal and I've abandoned writing my dreams down so now i  barely remember shit about my dreams
ahh so incoherent now because i'm upset for no reason
also i've been running and studying

I drink so much soymilk. Like gorging binging
I think I'm kind of
Kind of unstable.
Like.
At night.
I don't know I mean I'm perfectly fine and there's nothing wrong with my life it's great and all so I don't uunderstand why
Why I listen to and do stupid things
Like
I don't know there are voices in my head??????????????????