So recently my emotions have been flying unchecked, and I'm not sure if they're this wild because I'm going into that teenage phase or if it's because I've been so removed from a concentrated social circle and around my family so much that I just go bazooka.
Like just now I thought of when my mother freaking washed my brand new shirt that was all large and nice with hot water and when it came out it was all shrunken and not worth 14 dollars that my mind just exploded with anger and we got into a fight and I started crying because I was so frustrated, and the thing is, that happened a month ago so I don't know why I can still feel strongly, maybe even more so, about it and look this was one big run-on sentence yay.
In fact I've been losing my temper so often and getting into fights I don't even know if it's because I changed or my family did it's so damn frustrating.
I can't sleep soundly at night anymore. I lie awake and think of all the things I regret/ disappointed others with and kind of go insane trying to shut the voices in my head. Then I wake up at least 5 times before I actually wake up and each time my dreams get so screwed that when I wake up my mental state is so disorientated and I stopped logging my dreams in my journal because they're so disturbing..
And look everything is a run-on sentence. Maybe it's "stress" but that sounds really phony. Also my scars leave my skin blackened and it looks really ugly.
Everyone is occupied with someone more important than me right now, and I feel so bitchy for hating that.
It's like this meteorite of angry and sad crashed into my little autocosm of selfish flowers that fight for space and ignoring everything makes them grow and become beautiful but now everything's in flames and I'm so very confused.
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